When it comes to matters of faith, morality, and values, the culture is a dangerous place for our kids. We have a duty to protect them. But too many Christian parents interpret that duty as a mandate to isolate them and shield them from the world. That isn’t biblical and it doesn’t work. Statistics prove it. Instead, we need to inoculate our youth. We have to expose them to the threats in small doses and train them to respond. We should start doing that while they are young but it’s never too late to begin. And there are resources out there to help you.
The Proof Is In The Pudding
Statistics tell us that between 65% and 75% of young adults who were brought up in the church walk away after they leave home to go to college or enter the workforce.
Seventy-five percent.
Plenty has been written about this trend. J. Warner Wallace has consolidated a list of research related to this topic on his website here. But suffice it to say, the picture looks gloomy. Young adults don’t see the relevance of the church to their lives. Instead, they see hypocrisy and judgmentalism. They think the church’s teachings are out of date or “boring.” They have difficulty finding answers to their questions. This is not because the culture provides better answers. It doesn’t. It’s because the church has failed to prepare them to engage the world.
As apologist Frank Turek puts it, “they haven’t been talked out of Christianity. They’ve never been talked into it!”
“Nice Boys Don’t Ask That Question”
In 2003, author Dan Brown’s The DaVinci Code became one of the best selling novels in history. If you haven’t read it, it’s a page-turning thriller about world renown “symbologist,” Robert Langdon. In a nutshell, Langdon rocks the Church by discovering the bombshell secret that Jesus was married to Mary Magdalene. Their bloodline is the world’s “holy grail.”
The story sounds real. Brown even prefaces it with an opening page of “facts” about secret societies and church intrigue. It makes for a fascinating story. But it’s full of historical nonsense. Yet, Dan Brown sold over 80 million copies of his book and made it into a major motion picture. Its influence on the public’s view of Christianity is overwhelming … and false. What would compel him to write a book like that? Here’s his answer:
“I was raised Episcopalian, and I was very religious as a kid. Then, in eighth or ninth grade, I studied astronomy, cosmology, and the origins of the universe. I remember saying to a minister, ‘I don’t get it. I read a book that said there was an explosion known as the Big Bang, but here it says God created heaven and Earth and the animals in seven days. Which is right?’ Unfortunately, the response I got was, ‘Nice boys don’t ask that question.’ A light went off, and I said, ‘The Bible doesn’t make sense. Science makes much more sense to me.’ And I just gravitated away from religion.”
The Church Paradigm
Not every kid has a pastor who would respond their questions like Dan Brown’s pastor did. But too many of them have church experiences that end in the same way. Youth pastors are often more interested in being hip or having fun than they are in doing the tough work of preparing students for the world that awaits them. It’s not enough to go to a meeting every week or youth retreat every summer. Young people need to be trained to know and deeply understand an accurate picture of the world and their faith.
As one college atheist (who later returned to Christianity) put it in Salvo magazine:
“I was raised in the church, went to private Christian schools, was active in youth ministry at my church, went to conferences, read my bible and attended Bible study for several years, and yet the New Atheism sucked me in. As sad as it is, I think the success of the New Atheists says a whole lot more about the state and culture of modern Christianity than they do about themselves.”
That’s depressing. But it doesn’t have to stay that way.
Know What You Need To Do
If you are the parent, the prospect of preparing your kids to engage an antagonistic culture may sound like a daunting proposition. Don’t think it’s easy. But don’t think you’re alone either. Most importantly, don’t wait for others to fulfill your responsibilities. And know this about your kids:
- You are the greatest single influence on their faith.
- The younger they are taught how to think about and defend their faith, the more likely they are to persist in it when they get older.
- Young people have questions about their faith and they will seek answers. They can get those answers from you or from someone you don’t even know. You decide.
- Young adults do not like to read. If you just give them a book, chances are they probably will not read it.
- In general, the church’s success at preparing kids for the cultural challenges they will face when they leave home is abysmal. Maybe your church is different but don’t bet your kids’ life on it.
Above all, don’t trust your school, church, or youth leader to teach your kids to understand and defend their faith. It’s your responsibility.
With that in mind, I want to offer some excellent resources to help you prepare your kids of any age to meet the world that is waiting for them. (Direct links to each of the books mentioned are available at the bottom of this post).
Resources For Younger Kids
The first place to go is to J. Warner & Susie Wallace’s Casemaker Academy. There you will find an interactive website for kids age 8-12. You’ll have to purchase the books, but the Wallace’s Academy is free. Each offering leads kids through various exercises to solve “crimes” like a real detective. It includes downloadable notebooks, rewards for achievements, and activities that draw kids in and keeps them engaged.
Cold Case Christianity For Kids shows kids how to think and applies those techniques to an investigation of the evidence for Christianity. God’s Crime Scene For Kids introduces the concept of examining evidence. Then, it applies that way of thinking to different aspects of the world around us to see how God fits into the big picture. Finally, in the newest installment of the series, Forensic Faith For Kids, builds on the “detective toolbox” they’ve helped the kids create to show them how to consider questions and discuss these topics with their friends.
Parallel to the Wallace’s Academy, apologist Lee Strobel has also turned some of his best-selling books into a series of kid’s books on the same topics. These companion volumes will allow you to have informed discussions with your kids.
To complement these resources, I would highly recommend Natasha Crain’s, Talking With Your Kids About God: 30 Conversations Every Christian Parent Must Have. Natasha is a clear-thinking mom who had a successful career in the business world before becoming a Christian apologist. Her insightful book and website — christianmomthoughts.com — are outstanding resources for serious Christian parents.
Resources For Teens
If your kids are older, you have to understand what makes them tick. Jean Twenge’s, iGen: Why Today’s Super-Connected Kids Are Growing Up Less Rebellious, More Tolerant, Less Happy — and Completely Unprepared For Adulthood, will help you do that. The title is self-explanatory. Twenge is a psychologist whose insights are a great place for parents, teachers, and youth workers to get a handle on the way kids born between 1995 and 2012 see the world.
There are also several teen/young-adult targeted ministries that specialize in worldview training. Summit Ministries offers two-week summer training programs in Colorado, Tennessee, and Pennsylvania. These are for high school or recently graduated students. I know several of the instructors who teach at Summit and there are none better. Impact 360 is another specifically post-high school experience on a campus in Pine Mountain, Georgia. Both of these are excellent places for your older kids to get focused, trustworthy training in defending their faith.
Take The Initiative
None of these options for training your kids are easy to implement. The high school experiences aren’t cheap. But your obligation to prepare your kids for the world that is waiting for them is not optional. Take it seriously. Start planning and saving for them now. And remember, these options are not a panacea. They are only meant to complement the training you begin with your children when they are young.
Don’t procrastinate waiting for the day you are more confident in your faith. If nothing else, start finding ways to dig into these topics with your kids. Learn together. Don’t be afraid to say you don’t have answers. Research the questions together. Know you have help.
But, whatever you do, don’t leave their future to the whims of the culture. We’ve already seen where that leads.